The above is an extract from a New York Times article about Mediapods in Japan. somehow it brought home the irony of the human psyche. We feel the need to be seen as unique individuals, get a piece of the action, hog the limelight, yet find security in being part of a pack and relinquishing our identities. I think that when an individual tillts too much either way, they become candidates of institutionalised communities. Heck, there are harder ways of going mad.
Perhaps I should stop reading Sylvia Plath. Bell Jar's probably the most depressing book I've ever read more than half way. It's one of those books that kind of catches you unawares. The protagonist starts off being fairly "normal", and somewhere between chapter 3 and 7 develops suicidal tendencies and complete loss of self-value. If this is the inner workings of a typical female in the industrialised world, I think we have a lot to worry about.
It's been a pretty topsy-turvy start to the week. Sensing the flu about to start it's annual pilgramage, it was a struggle getting out of bed, let alone dragging myself along the 20 min trek from the Kmart Auto Centre to Southpark. Even after the half shot flat white from the local coffee shop, I kept thinking "Aza Aza Fighting!!" just to keep one foot in front of the other. Work's been tough. People have warned that when the enthusiasm wanes, I'll be burnt out pretty soon. A candle is pretty much the perfect image of myself right now, a metaphor in more ways than one. I realise that stress doesn't come from actual physical exertion, but rather the gravity of responsibility. I wonder how the Prime Minister sleeps at night.
It's so strange getting worked up by just reading a title of an email whose contents irritated me.
Even an invitation to coffee is stressful because of the weight of expectations that come attached to it.
Got to try and relax... out... in... phew...
One thing in life that I miss is discovering how multi-faceted people are around me. I guess being in a professional environment (ehhum) for most of my hours awake, there's little opportunity to connect on a more human, less-superficial level. even when I'm around friends, conversations mostly centres around work. Thinking back, it would be inevitable to not bitch about work. Noone talks about their grand plans, dreams of what they want to do in the future. Or how much they adore those who are close to them. It's like verbal inertia, some faux pas. when I think of these things, it always leads back to one of the phrases that I love: "Dance like noone's watching"
